I've read a letter from one of Dr. Laura's fans who wrote a college paper where the assignment was to write a "how to" on something that they thought the class wouldn't know. As mentioned in previous posts, I don't have much "love" for western women and with good reasons. This one not only is the exception that proves the rule, but also vindicates me in a sense that a woman felt the need (I know it was a woman because she left her name which I left out of here) that such a lesson plan is necessary. I've posted the content of that paper here with my comments in boldface. I'm sure the feminazis will have issues with much of this, but if I cared what they thought, I would had gotten another one and married it.
How to Keep Your Husband
These instructions are a fool proof method of how to not only keep your husband, but how to keep him happy. These instructions do not apply to relationships with abuse, drug or alcohol addictions, or affairs. I would had added one more here, though it could be mute: abandonment. Although, it is important to note that if the following steps are followed, there will be no affairs. Amen to that.
Step 1: Own your position
As the wife, it is important to know that you hold the power to control the marital relationship and family atmosphere. If there is one consistent theme in the feminazi position, everything is about them and men are always at fault as if we have any power at all, which we don't. Should this control be abused or ignored, the health of the relationship will surely falter. The woman must recognize her position and use it to create peace and keep her husband eager to come home every day. Not that it matters to the norm of western men, especially "educated" western women who are taught from day one that men are the enemy and they wonder why they are treated so badly.
This is accomplished by the following mini steps:
a. When he comes home, greet your husband at the door with a smile, a kiss and a hug, regardless of how you feel at that moment. Good luck. It's all about them, remember? Oh how many times I've had to paid for their bad days.
b. Do not even consider, not for a second, dumping your worries and woes on your man before he has a chance to get in the door, take his shoes off, and catch his breath after his day.
c. Feed him Love. affection, and food. How simple is that?
Step 2: Pick your battles wisely
Men, being very simple creatures, see things in a 'works' or 'does not work' fashion. The wife sees things in a fashion of 'my way', 'his way', 'the neighbors' way', 'the messy way', 'the right way', etc... The battle cry of the women studies courses at our university and our media. The wife who is angry over the husband leaving his plate in the living room will not have a very harmonious marriage. She will eventually drive her man to fearing that any movement he makes will be wrong and she will become angry, yelling, pouting, and hammering him to death over something he sees as trivial and she sees as disrespectful, purposefully hurtful, lazy, etc... See previous statement..This behavior, in turn, will make the husband not so eager to rush home to his wife. Duh! You think! Nobody wants to feel belittled or talked down to. Yet western women tend to think we men do.
Avoid this with the following mini steps:
a. Decide if the little things are worth becoming big things.
b. Save your argument for those things that are meaningful and pertinent to the family (i.e. Irresponsibly spending money, making time for date nights, confronting the father of the boy who's intentions are not so great towards your teenage daughter...).
Step 3: Don't make him your girlfriend
A man, being a man, wants to 'fix' things. When he is given a problem that he cannot fix, he is, in his own mind, a failure. A man does not do well with failing. Talk about no win scenario. If we fix it, we're condemned as uncaring, if we don't, we're considered useless. The wife cannot complain incessantly about how unfair it is that she has too much homework to do and there is not enough time and she doesn't have the freedom to meet her friends for lunch cause she has due dates to meet, and....The wife is in school because she wants to be in school. How does it benefit her to whine to her husband about something he cannot fix? Yes, please tell me because I know for one I'm sick of hearing about it all the while it's the consequences of your own choices. How does making him feel like he can't take care of your problems make him feel like a man? No, but it sure makes THEM feel better. Right? It doesn't. Call your sister, mother, or girlfriend to complain instead.
So, following are some guidelines to follow to complete Step 3:
a. When needing something from your husband, simply state it in black and white, specific terms (i.e. the dishwasher is leaking or we need more milk). We're simple, you need something just tell us. We hate those stupid guessing games, especially when we're guessing incorrectly.
b. Do not continually bring up a specific point, thought, or problem in a 'nagging' fashion. Again, your husband is not your girlfriend. Yes, there are emotional differences in the sexes. Nor is he your child. Isn't it the common complain that men act too much like children yet they don't treat us any better. You don't need to tell him 42 times in two days that the dishwasher is broken he knows, you already told him. Now, let him take care of it.
Step 4: Give affection often
While both men and women need affection, we need it differently. Women want flowers, cards, candy, romanticism, and gifts. Men want to know they are your man by you letting them show you intimately. (While this step should be explained much deeper, this is not the place.) By a wife deciding to withhold affection because she is angry or pouty, she is not making the point she hopes to be making. She is causing long-lasting damage. Western women tend to think of affection as empowerment. Seems it's all about having power and using that power for personal gain. Since men have no power in relationships, it's a silly fight to have.
Looking at the following mini steps will help the wife avoid this dreadful mistake:
a. NEVER withhold intimacy from your husband out of spite! Can you say power trip. Plus, what do the ladies get in return? Bitterness? Never, ever try to 'teach him' by giving him the cold shoulder or ignoring him, belittling his desires and love for you, the wife. If it's your intention to tighten the screws on the man, well, this works great. Doesn't do anything for your relationship, but I bet it will make you feel a lot better. . . or not.
b. Remember that while expecting him to fulfill your desires of romance, gifts, flowers, etc..., you are obligated to not only return the favor, but be proactive in fulfilling it. Oooooooh, I bet that's a dirty statement with our feminist mentality in our society. That a woman has a responsibility for her own happiness in a relationship. What a concept.
Step 5: Learn forgiveness and letting go
Women are infamous for holding grudges Don't get me started on this. Not only women are better at holding grudges, my current wife still holds a grudge against me for thing done by her ex's before we even met, but women are #1 in getting revenge. You want to get even with someone, ask a woman.. We can make a man suffer for a very long time when we feel we have been slighted, if only a little. Slighted a little. There are times I like to know what I did wrong only to find out she's having a crappy time. The wife's mentality of "I'll show him!" is the abuse of power from Step 1. Women abusive of their power, they don't even believe they have it. Men, our husbands, quickly move on from the disagreements we have with them. It is a waste of time, energy, and effort for the wife to hold a grudge, because the husband doesn't usually know why she's acting so irrationally. HELLOOOOOOOO!!! He's moved on! To him, she is pouty, moody, and unapproachable. And no, it's not in our minds. She cannot meet him at the door with a smile and a kiss when she is maintaining this poor attitude, which is in noncompliance of Step 1. Soon, the wife will see the husband pulling away and not trying to 'find out what's wrong'. Remember how I said we hate playing guessing games, here's why. Sadly, he will be protecting himself from her. We're not going to get chummy with someone that attacks us all the time or out of the blue. This is one more scenario leading to long-term damage, due to the wife's actions.
These following recommendations will prevent this scenario from playing out in your marriage:
a. Remember to let go - very little is worth hanging on to and mulling over. Forgive whatever situation creates the "I'll teach him" mode. He forgiven you, return the gesture. Keep moving forward. Forgive and forget, what a concept.
b. Do not repeatedly bring up the hurt or difference once you've forgiven. You cannot let go of it if you keep choosing to pick it up and carry it around letting means letting go. Western women's ability to hold on to these "wrongs" are famous throughout the world, believe me. This is why, no not because who would have them, foreign men don't want western wives.
The above steps, while not all inclusive, are a sure-fire way to strengthen and maintain a marriage. While there are certainly other aspects that must be considered, the five guidelines above are a good 'rule of thumb'. We must recognize and never forget that a man wants to take care of his wife. He wants to provide for her and protect her. He sees it as his job. The wife must allow him to do this. We cannot stifle what makes our men 'men'. We should embrace it and support it. If we keep our husbands happy, they will surely grab the stars from the sky to make us happy!
Following is a brief synopsis of the five steps to keeping your husband:
1. Own your position
2. Pick your battles wisely
3. Don't make him your girlfriend
4. Give affection often
5. Learn forgiveness and letting go
If you are noticing strain or discomfort in your marriage as a wife, begin at step one and work your way through step five and you will surely find resolution.